I'm grateful for sleepless nights...

I'm staying at a friend's house this week, watching their children while they are out of town. It's the Carlson's. Their son, Josh, is my age and went to school with me. Our junior year, he and his girlfriend were killed in a tragic accident. Being here, at his dad's house, reminds me of him and how painful that loss was. I'm watching Josh's little brothers this week, and it makes me sad to think that I probably remember him better than they do because they were so young at the time. The grief that his parents have suffered from the loss of their child, is evident in their home, without any words even being spoken. I can't even imagine. That event was a turning point in my life. My husband lost his mother a year and half ago, and the grief he suffered was tremendous. I couldn't even begin to understand what he was going thru because I cannot imagine losing my own mother. Now, as a mother myself, I have a deep hidden fear that my family will somehow be separated by death. A highschool friend of mine, lost her son a couple of years ago, and I read her thoughts and feel so much sorrow for her grief and what she is going through. My heart aches for everyone that has experienced a loss. And I become so grateful for my blessings, especially my family. And I've learned from them, to cherish every moment with my precious baby girl. The good and the bad. And suddenly I'm grateful for sleepless nights. Because when my baby cries, she's alive. I am so touched by these people's faith and strength. I know that Heavenly Father loves us deeply. And while I know that there is a plan of salvation and happiness where we will one day be with our loved ones again, I also know that until that time, our hearts, our spirits, will yearn to be together again.

"There is, in the suffering of the highest order, a point that is reached--a point of aloneness--when the individual must bear it, as it were, alone. Even the faithful may wonder if they can take any more or if they are some way forsaken. Those who, as it were, stand on the foot of the cross often can do so little to help absorb the pain and anguish. It is something we must bear ourselves in order that our triumph can be complete." --Neil A. Maxwell